These videos are for my brother John who specifically requested to see little Ben through video not just photos. I guess the rest of you can watch too... ha ha! I hope this works!
This one he was just hanging out on the bed next to me. Wide-eyed and super cute.
Here he is drinking his bottle. He makes this little sound every time he drinks and it's just too cute.
My parents left today, and although it was time for all of us- I will miss their company and help. It's all us now... we're official parents with technically no "on hand" help. They were so great to sacrifice so much time to be out here with us. We had clean dishes and laundry, we now have a "Ben tree" in the front yard and pretty flowers to look at... and most importantly my little guy got to spend some quality time with his Collier grandparents. They are so far away and so I am grateful that they got to meet him and for my mom to be here for his birth. I will forever be grateful to them for this time with them, as challenging as it was on occasion. Having 4-5 people in our somewhat small house all at once was a lot to cram in! I have great parents, and I'm SUPER lucky. Ben should NEVER doubt their love for him! He pretty much won them over big time!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Well, I guess it's time to update. Especially since the little one is asleep for now. Things have been going well. I am not resting as much as I should be or as much as I'm being told I should. Especially since my parents are still here and I should probably be taking advantage of that more. Although, I know that once Friday comes and they wont be here anymore, I'm on my own- so I'm kind of trying to prepare for that. I'm trying to get myself into some kind of routine with him and with being home all day long. It's starting to be a little weird to feel organized at home- I'm used to going to work and doing my thing there and being organized... being home was for days where I've just laid around because I've either been sick or needed a "me" day. That's not the case anymore. Or at least not for the next 5 weeks I've got to stay organized and active and on top of things.
Ben has been good about sleeping during the nights- we've really been pretty blessed with him and his demeanor. We've had quite a few4-5 hour stretches between feedings which has been nice since we are both pooped. I feed him as long as Ryan gets up to get the bottle and warm it up for me. The whole feeding routine takes about an hour total... and he'll usually fall asleep for a few minutes then wake up wanting more or he just hangs out and looks at you for a while until he decides he's still hungry. He's starting to get a little bit of an attitude and temper, but overall he's a really easy going baby. He's really Ryan's little mini-me in SO many ways! He really just doesn't like to be naked or to get his diaper changed and when he's hungry- you know it! He's really changing everyday and getting heavier and cheeks getting chubbier and I can't wait until the newborn glaze over the eyes goes away.
We took him on his first "outing" this weekend with my parents to Helen, GA. It was my mom's birthday and we needed to get her out of the house, and it was a really pretty day to do it. We first went to breakfast at one of our favorite breakfast places, The Original Pancake House and then drove up there about an hour and a 1/2 away. It was a REALLY pretty drive. Ben did really well the whole time until right before we were leaving to come home. He got hungry and mad that he'd been in his car seat the whole time. He had a little bit of a tantrum, but we got driving (as much as it killed me to sit there and listen to him cry his head off) and he finally calmed down.
We also took him to church for the first time this Sunday, and we made it through all three meetings just fine. He got a little fussy in Relief Society but he was just hungry again and we made it through just fine and with enough time to get him home and fed. We had Ryan's parents over that night for Easter dinner with everyone and it was really nice. It was such a beautiful Spring day, and each bloom reminded me of the Savior's resurrection. (Ryan's Parents)
So... all in all I am loving being a mommy. Things will feel and be a bit different when we're doing it ALL on our own, but each day I feel a stronger and stronger bond with the little dude. I love that he needs me, and when he's with other people sometimes he'll be fussy and when I get him he's fine. Makes me feel all important and stuff... like I'm his mommy or something! :) I had a neat experience with him yesterday while I was feeding him. He was unusually sociable for being hungry and kept looking at me and not eating and just listening to me talk. I told him that it was mine and daddy's 1 year anniversary and that meant that we could all go to the temple together. And that we would be sealed to each other so we could be together forever. At that moment, he smiled at me as if he knew (which I think he did) what I was talking about and it made him so happy and excited.
I just am so in love with my little man and could stare at him all day long. I am so excited to see more and more of his personality each day and love to see how he's different each day.
Ben had his first bath tonight to get ready for the arrival of his grandpa! He didn't like it ONE bit though! For someone who was naked for 9 months, he sure doesn't like being naked now! But oh my his hair was so cute afterwards- it totally fuzzed up and stuck up straight. It's really hard not to think he's cute though. Even if he is my kid!
Well Friday was my birthday... one year away from being 30. Which, for right now (this might change) I am okay with. To celebrate- my mom, my sister, Ben and I went to Olive Garden for lunch. It was our first time taking Ben out- besides to the doctor. It was good and Ben did really well, except for at the end he started getting hungry and a little fussy. But we made it home and fed him and he was happy.Then my sweet husband came home from work with flowers and a happy birthday balloon, that made my day! We left Ben with his grandma and auntie and we went to eat yummy food at Cheesecake Factory (one of our favorites). After dinner, we went on a walk in a nature preserve area right near the restaurant. We saw deer, a bunny and an owl. It was really cool, and relaxing. Unfortunately it was getting dark and rainy and so we headed home. Plus I was starting to miss Ben and we had cheesecake for everyone to eat as well. It was a great birthday- I love my man for taking me out and making me feel special. He is SO good to me, and patient and loving and understanding and I love him more now than I ever thought was possible!There were some pretty severe storms that blew through that night and more Saturday, one of which was a tornado in downtown Atlanta. There was some pretty bad damage done and luckily only a few people hurt and no one killed in the downtown tornado.Yesterday's storms got sort of scary because a couple tornadoes (of which there were like 4 or 5) hit close to us. And my sister was down at school when this one blew through- I believe it dissipated though before it did any damage. We were watching this on the news. Let me tell you- hearing the tornado sirens is a pretty scary thing. I was scared for a minute when our county went under the warning. We were and are safe though, and no one we know was hurt or affected luckily.
Ben is doing so good. His cheeks are getting fatter and fatter each day. His little personality shows here and there, and I'm learning more and more what it's like to be a mommy and how to take care of him. I think it's pretty instinctual, but there is still a lot to learn! I'm sure that part will never end! He went over to his Nana & Poppy's house (Ryan's parents) for the first time today. He got pretty upset at the end because he was SO hungry and I didn't have another extra bottle to feed him because he had eaten it already! But luckily when we started driving he chilled out and we made it home with out him crying much anymore. It's such a miracle and wonderful thing to look at him and love him so much and know that my man and I created him. That he's OURS and that I got to carry him. I am loving watching him change everyday!
Okay, it's kind of long but here is a little montage of Ben-dome from conception until now! This is also for family and friends who don't get meet him right away as well.
He's doing REALLY well by the way. He's a good baby. Doesn't like his diaper to be changed or his boy parts to get cold and cries bloody murder when this happens. But other than being hungry and that, he doesn't cry! (so far...)
Went to his first doc's appt yesterday and he's already 7 lbs! Mommy is tired, but that's to be expected. Speaking of tired, I'm going to bed! Hope you enjoy!
I guess I should let y'all know what's going on. Thank you SO much for the lovely comments on my sweet boy. I was released from the hospital Wednesday (finally), but my little guy wasn't. I had a fever when Ben was delivered, and his breathing was a little fast so he had to go to the "transitional" nursery right after he was born to be monitored and to have some labs done. They finally brought him up to me about 4 hours after he was born, it was a LONG wait! So then he had been having difficulties eating... which is fine, because he's new and needed to learn. But we had the lactation lady come in and help and we couldn't get him to latch on or if we did- he'd fall asleep. So I'd pump for 5 minutes before and then try and feed him and he still struggled. So we'd have to supplement him with a bottle. Tuesday night I was EXHAUSTED- the night before (which is the night I had him) I probably had only gotten three hours of sleep and after 11-12 hours of labor my little body couldn't function. So we decided to have the nurse take him to the nursery across the hall to feed him and hang out with him so we could get some sleep before we went home the next day. I'm glad we did because with in an hour of sending him in there- they noticed there was something wrong with his breathing which had been an issue right after he was born. So they sent him back down to the transition nursery. Which worried me to tears... he was there until about 9am the next morning and then was admitted to the NICU. He had three tests done and two out of three were fine- but the one that was a little elevated worried them, and he still wasn't eating very well or enough. Plus his breathing was pretty fast still. All of this on the day he was supposed to come home with us! Obviously that wasn't going to happen. Since then he's gotten so much better, he's out of NICU after only being there for a day. They were worried there for a second about his billirubin levels and they've gone down. His breathing problem subsided yesterday morning and the test that indicated infection was going down as well. He's been such a little trooper and I'm so proud of him and how much he's pulled through. Yesterday my mom and I were able to go and see him for about 4 hours and spend some good time with him during two feedings. After I fed him the first time he stayed awake for about a 1/2 hour afterwards and let me just talk to him and sing and he never looked away. It was the most amazing feeling in the whole world. There was definitely a bonding moment there. I gave him a good pep talk and told him we needed him home... and that evening he started eating more than "required" and by the evening they had taken him off the strange table he'd been on for two days and put him in a regular bassinet and he looked just about ready to go home. They had even taken the feeding tubes out of him. Ryan and I went and held him for 2 hours last night and he was asleep the whole time. Couldn't get him to wake up! Anyway, we're hoping that he can come home today. I'm trying REALLY hard not to get my hopes up because this last week has kind of been a week of ups and downs and disappointments. But I just called and he was eating and the nurse said he did really well through the night. I am going to go get ready now and go see him before I have to take the special care CPR class before he can be released. I'll keep y'all posted. Prayers are needed! Thank you for them anyway! Here are some pictures! I took some last night but can't find the cord to get them off the camera! AHH!
We've got Ben! Holy crap that labor was hard! When I get a chance I'll maybe describe what it was like, you know me- I'm honest about the pregnancy stuff, and that was not fun. Although COMPLETELY worth it when he made his first cry and I got to hold him! I was so delirious and out of it that I don't remember a lot of it except for the pain and the HOURS of labor (11 or 12) and then getting him out. I think Heavenly Father made it that way for me so that I wont really remember the next time! He was born at 4:30pm March 3rd, 2008. He was 6 lbs 14 ozs and 19 1/2 inches long. I think he's a pretty cute little newborn, of course I am biased. He's got long eye lashes and is just a cutie. He's got a pretty full head of hair, believe it or not- it's even almost in a natural Mohawk! I am in love with my little man and feel so blessed to have such a beautiful little person to take care of that me and the man I love created together. I'm glad the pregnancy and birth are over- now we're on to a whole new way of life and new set of challenges!
Sunday, March 2, 2008
I'm being induced tonight!!! Baby tomorrow! Not sure when... YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!
still in the hospital. still don't know what's going on. what I do know is my blood pressure is fine and I had protien in my urine (which between the two deterimes preeclampsia) but it was a normal amount and nothing to worry about so I guess I don't have preeclampsia, the baby is just fine and every time I get monitored the nurses comment on how active a little person he is, when I talk to him his heart rate goes up- which makes me smile and love him even more and want to see him, not a fan of having this useless i.v. in my hand, and we're bored... and sick of being here and waiting and not really knowing what's going on. That's what we know. We also know that I'm getting an ultra sound today to determine whether or not I go home with or with out the baby- but don't know when that's happening...we were told sometime this morning and it's 10:30, but the nurse today said they probably wont be here until this afternoon. Which means... MORE WAITING. Okay, fine- we're making sure everything is okay and that everyone is okay.... but still. I'd have to say I'd rather be in MY bed. I miss my doggy. I miss my shower, which I haven't had since Friday morning. Yeah... so- I really don't have much of an update- the subject line lied to you. I still have NO idea whether or not we're going home with baby (but I'm leaning towards NO). I just wish since we were hear already and I'm already so freaking close to being 40 weeks that we could just do it- but they wont if everyone is healthy. whatever...
It's been YEARS since I've been in the hospital- for myself that is. And here I am. Sitting in the hospital. With a baby still in my stomach. And with a useless CAPPED OFF i.v. in my right hand, which is totally not comfortable. I went to the doctor for my routine visit yesterday morning and as usual my blood pressure was high at first. So they decided to take it again... and it was high. So I had to lay on my side for a little while. Had my exam, which I'm only dilated to a 1 (no big deal), and she checked it again and it was still high. At one point I believe it was 160 over 100 and something. So they sent me to the hospital and here I am. It's 11:20am the next day and I'm still here. My blood pressure went down. At first when the doctor came to see me when I got here yesterday, we were "going to have this baby this weekend". And now, I'm pretty sure that's not happening. What I am doing now is a 24 hour urine analysis which I'll technically be done with at 2 o'clock, but then have to wait until they send it to the lab and get the results back. In the midst of all the excitement of the doctor telling me that I was going to have the baby this weekend, my mom called my brother who was the kind one that got her ticket to come out here to notify him of the news and he switched the ticket to today. She's almost here! Things are little crazy and I'm not sure what's going on. Everyone is healthy though. That's all that matters.
