Seperation Anxiety

So... we decided it was time.

Big Boy Ben slept in his crib the whole night through for the first time last Saturday. In honor of his triumph, we dressed him in this cute little outfit our friend Erin got us the next day. Boy did he earn that... except for he SLEPT an all nighter. :)

(Look at those juicy cheeks!)

I didn't think I'd have separation anxiety but I did. I missed having the little tyke next to me. When I have him in the bassinet I keep him right close to the bed so I can just sit up and help him out if he needs something. He did so good though, he really is an awesome sleeper. We had him sleep in there again last night... I know it was a while from the last time! A little at a time though okay? Not for him, but for me! ha, ha!

Here are just some cute pictures of him from the past little while. He's getting so big and changing so much. I love it. I look at him everyday and think "you'll never be this small again!"

1. In the first picture he sometimes makes this face when he's not sure if he wants to cry, but I think it's his sneaky way of getting mommy or someone to hold him!
2. he was out in the second picture, such a sleepy bear. I loved how his arms were positioned.
3. I love his hands. They are small and cute.
4. I was trying to feed and burp him and he was TOTALLY asleep, his head was flopping everywhere and he was all hunched over. So cute.
5. Sleeping so soundly in his crib.
6. Showing off his GT pants Jennifer bought him before he was born. I can't wait for her to see the pict in Mongolia!

Mother's Day

It's been pretty busy, and I became forgetful when I got pregnant and it SO hasn't gone away. We didn't ever make Mother's Day a huge deal in our house- because my mom said so. :) She always hated it for some reason... I don't know why. Anyway, because of all of that I forgot to post. So here's my post about my FIRST Mother's Day.

Ben and I were sick still, so I was pretty tired. But Ryan made me breakfast in bed before church and it was yummy. We went to church and then came home and prepared dinner for his parents to join us. Ryan got me a beautiful plant and some GORGEOUS roses and a sweet card. His mom gave me $20 which was extra nice and a wonderful very sweet card. Overall it was a good day. We had an enjoyable time with the Smith's, and I'm even pretty sure Ben said "happy mother's day" to me also!
My nagging pulled off as well... my sweet, suggestive nagging that is. And as an extended Mother's Day gift I came home from the temple the next Tuesday night to this! Not the big diamond ring, but a new wedding band! My wonderful, sweet, HOT, loving husband bought me a new wedding band, and even had our names engraved in it! I sure love that guy of mine. He is a very thoughtful man. And I sure do love my new wedding band! Not that the other one was bad, it was just turning yellow and really didn't compliment the big diamond as well as this one does.
So yeah, I scored for Mother's Day. In SO many ways. I love being a mommy to my Ben. I feel so blessed to have such a beautiful child that my love and I created. We are very lucky parents!

Another Random Thoughts Post

• I despise shoes that tear the skin off the back of your heel and make it so you can't wear other shoes with backs on them comfortably for AT LEAST a week.
• I'm dizzy today, and I think it's because I could have a slight ear infection.
• It hurts my heart just about more than anything in the world to leave Ben with someone else to take care of him everyday.
• I really like the new Death Cab for Cutie song. A lot.
• I wonder if I'm going to die early because I'm still drinking out of Nalgene bottles with a 7 on them.
• I'm grateful for good news.
• Someday Ryan and I should start a company for WOMEN that have small feet like me that sell nice, good quality, good looking shoes.
• I am really liking the White Pizza from Papa John's. Usually not a HUGE fan of Papa's, but it's REALLY good.
• Cherry Coke, Mmmmmm.
• I hate hand washing baby bottles when the dishwasher isn't an option. (Don't worry, I still do...)
• I love a good salad. I had a yummy one today; lettuce, craisins, goat cheese, pistachios, pears, strawberries and mushrooms with a lovely vinaigrette.
• I'm such a mom in my car. I have spare binkies in a plastic baggy in case Ben spits his out and I can't reach far enough back to get it. I have a little toy hanging around in there too for him to look at. The other day I had a bottle in the cup holder instead of a drink for me.
• I love hearing songs that remind me of good times. Like Icicle Works-"Whisper to a Scream". It reminds me of being in a jeep with the top and doors off up in the mountains. (it just came on the radio)
• Plane tickets are too expensive.
• I just remembered that I had a blog book I was working on. Hmmm. I should get going on that.
• Have I mentioned I have the cutest baby in the universe? (slightly biased)
• We have a psycho robin that is tormenting our back doors, bar-b-que and deck. (Post to come for that. We have video.) It's been at it for about 4-5 days. We have bird poo EVERYWHERE back there.
• I'm sick of being at work. Period. In general. I want to be home with my boy. Or at least working part time or from home. I also want to get away from having to answer phone calls. My arms are starting to go numb in places from sitting at a computer all day. My back kills...Just for that, I'm going to go home now.
• Most posts to come. I have a few things to catch up on!

Does anyone SEE what's wrong with this picture? NO? I DO! And DID! Let me tell you, people FREAK OUT in the rain here. If you can't see what I'm looking at, it's a bus blocking the intersection while MY light is green. Shouldn't he have been stopped at his light and not in the middle of the road? So those little lights underneath the bus are cars needing to turn left or go straight that can't. I couldn't turn left either because of mister big butt bus. I sat through a whole light because jerk face bus driver HAD to block the intersection. I'm pretty sure he DIDN'T get there any faster. This happens in Atlanta ALL the time. A radio DJ the other day said people should get tickets for doing that, I agree. If your light is green, but the people ACROSS the intersection are not moving, stay where you are until you know you have room over on the other side as to not block the intersection in case the light turns red. COMMON SENSE! Arg. SO annoying...

It's already been more than 2 months...

I can't believe how much Ben is changing. EVERY DAY he looks a little different. He changes in some small (but what seems huge) way. He's such a happy and content baby and is really a little champ. Yesterday Ryan took him (I had to work and couldn't go) to get his 2 month immunizations. Ryan said I was probably glad I didn't go because poor little Ben cried his little head off. He said to think of the worst cry I'd heard from him and times it by ten. He said I probably would've cried too! Ha, ha... probably! He handled it well afterwards though, and got to spend the rest of the day at home with my sister. She said he slept all day long and wasn't even grumpy. My favorite thing is coming home and holding him and him cuddling up to me. You can tell he missed his mommy. And I think he knows I missed him too, at least I hope he does anyway. Here he is at the doc's office, obviously BEFORE the shots! Ryan said he was having a good old time on the table kicking and waving his arms. Cutie patootie I tell ya.

cold

Here's the thing... have you ever so stuffed up that you can't taste anything you're eating? I'm having that issue right now. It's the weirdest sensation because I can feel in my mouth the spiciness or sourness or savory- but no flavor. It's SO annoying! Like, I'm drinking orange Fanta and I can feel the tartness of it. But can't taste the orange flavor. I'm eating a steak burrito and the steak is spicy and I can feel the texture of it, but can't actually taste the FLAVOR of the meat. The only thing this loss of taste has been good for today was licking a bunch of envelopes. Part of eating for me is enjoying the flavor! I feel like it's completely useless to eat right now! Oh well... I guess I need to for survival or something.

It's Official, I'm tired.

Poor little Ben hasn't been feeling well. He's been coughing and is congested and a little out of sorts. I took him in to the doctor to have them check on him just in case, and luckily it's nothing worse than a bad cold. A lot of the kids in his daycare class have been sick... so the nurse said to bring him in. The little guy weighs 10 lbs 6 oz now, and is 22 inches! He's getting so big. He's too tall for all of his newborn clothes. He has his 2 month check up on Monday, so we'll see how he's doing then. Sad for him he has to get all his nasty shots. Daddy is taking him though and then he gets to hang with his Aunt DJ for the rest of the day.

It's stressful being a mommy. Not in a bad way, but wow there are so many emotions and feelings and worries that suddenly arise when you become a parent. I say it's stressful because all I want to do it to take care of him and I feel like I really can't while I'm working. I don't really have a choice but TO work for now... and I feel frustrated that I'm not in the swing of things yet even though I shouldn't be because it's only been a week and a half. I'm feeling the pressure right now because I don't feel well either (he and I are sharing this cold with each other) and it's taking A LOT of energy to be a mommy, wife, and full time employee. Again, I'm not complaining- I LOVE being a mommy and I have the best husband in the world, I'm just tired. :)He let me rest tonight though, in fact MADE me rest. I wasn't allowed to touch the computer or watch TV, I was sent to my bed! I got a little rest and I'm feeling like I could sleep for the rest of the night!

What else is new? We got Ben's birth announcements in the mail from tinyprints.com and now just need to send them out. They turned out REALLY nice! I love them! Um... we're planning a day at Six Flags here in Atlanta, that should be fun. I'm a little reluctant to ride roller coasters now that I'm a mom. Is that silly of me?

Okay... well, I'm even boring myself with this blog- so I'll go. I'm trying out putting my blog into a book at blurb.com. My friend Jessica did it with hers and it's really cool! I want one!

I wanted to show how much he's changed since he was born. I love that he's making goofy faces in both pictures!

okay bye.

Ben

This is cute huh?

Plethora of Pictures

So I guess I owe you all a post. Monday was my first day back to work. BOO. It was one of the hardest days ever for me. I hated to leave Ben at the daycare and realize I wasn't going to get to be with him all day everyday like I have been the last 8 weeks. It also meant that he wasn't going to be with me like he has been for the past like 10+ months (which sounds like the same sentence twice, but I meant the kid has either been IN me or NEAR me for that long!). Luckily he's pretty much in the next building over. There's technically a parking garage between us. So I will pretty much go over there whenever I can... Monday I went over during my lunch break yesterday and just held him. Tuesday I took him with me to get my lunch. I snuggled a little with him too. I'm so glad he's near by. I hope the ladies at the daycare (Kinder Care) are taking good care of my little guy. Luckily (even though I'm still paying for daycare) Delinda is going to watch him once a week. I'm so grateful for that because he'll be home and with family. The only downside to it is that I wont get to see him at lunch.

Here he is on his first day.

Last week while we were getting ready for our walk I had Ben in his car seat to put in his stroller and Ally all leashed up. She doesn't move if you've got her on the leash, even if you're not standing with her. So I left the two of them to get something from the family room looking like this... and came back to find Ally standing in his car seat (just take the way she's standing in that picture and put her on top of his legs). I of course freaked, and grabbed Ally out of his seat and found this. My poor baby! He was crying, but I think it was because I was! I was pretty much hysterical, but he was bleeding and it scared me and I was REALLY ticked at Ally. His scratch got a little angry that night, but it's already gone thank goodness. He's a tough cookie, he only cried for just a minute and I'm pretty sure he was crying mostly because I was! And he's okay. And so am I... now! :) And we're pretty sure she wasn't doing it to be mean to him, it might've been she thought she needed to be in there with him too!

Ben and I always have a good time at the changing table. When he was first born he HATED having his diaper changed, now he really likes it. He fusses when he's got a dirty diaper so I think it just must feel so great to have it changed. Plus it's a good time for us to talk and smile at each other. I had my first experience of being peed on by the little fella the other day! It was quite humorous. Unfortunately I didn't have my handy-dandy Pee-Pee Teepee's available that Cecilia got us... so I had to use a burp rag that was there. I've been waiting for that to happen.... it finally did- and two days in a row! The second time we were able to get the teepee in time!

Another event was I got my hair cut and colored last week. It felt so nice to get spruced up, especially before I had to go to work. I've looked pretty hammered lately I'm fully aware. Ryan wasn't so happy about the cut though because I chopped 3 inches off, but man does it feel good! And really, you can barely tell a difference in my opinion.

Before
After (I know, aren't I sexy! ha, ha)
We just bought tickets to go to Utah next month! We are going out so I can take pictures for my cousin Ann's wedding. She's getting married in Idaho, but we decided to make it a trip so my other siblings can meet Ben, and our friends too. I'm hoping to make a day trip up to the Uintas, I really really miss them and I think Ryan would love it there as much as I do. I want to go fishing too, it's been SO long. Overall it'll be an expensive trip I'm sure, but I'm excited.

We had some friends over for dinner the other night. They have a little girl that was born just two or so months before Ben. She's twice the size of Ben already, I'm not sure when he'll catch up though- he's too tall and skinny! Here's a pretty cute picture of them.

And now just some CUTE random pictures of our boy. We seriously scored in the cuteness factor with him! I think he takes after his daddy! Check out his cute New Balance shoes in the last picture! Thanks to Megan and Cony!

Nice Long Walks

We are really blessed to live where we do. Not only do we have a cute house, but we live in a great clean neighborhood that is near just about everything and anything. We have the mall about 10 mins away and on the same road it's on, there's EVERYTHING. Target, fast food restaurants, Petsmart, regular restaurants, two movie theatres, Best Buy... seriously... everything. And if it's not there- it's somewhere else near us. Church is only 10 minutes away, the temple and my work are about 20-25 minutes (with out traffic) away. Ryan's work is a bit further... that's the only part that stinks. And the airport and downtown are a ways away- but we don't really venture down that area too often for it to be a hassle. One of the perks to living in our neighborhood is the Big Creek Greenway. It's a large park that has a lot of biking and walking trails and sort of a nature preserve with boardwalks, oh and a Big Creek! There are mountain biking trails and swamps and little ponds and a great field to play frisbee or soccer in... it's BEAUTIFUL. We are lucky to have an entrance in our neighborhood just right up the road from our house. SO... in an effort to get back in to shape and loose some weight Ryan and I pinky swore that we would go there three times a week. He bought a bike and I have Ben's little jogger stroller so I can walk (hopefully eventually run) and Ally tags along with us. It's good for her to get the exercise too. I really enjoy the time there. It is like a little heaven away from the city pretty much right in the middle of it. Tall trees (which for those who have never been to Georgia, there are a lot of) and the vines and we often get to see wildlife in there. It really not only does good things as far as health wise, but mentally too. It's so quiet and peaceful and it reminds me why I'm such a nature girl at heart. Anyway, I took some pictures and wanted to share how beautiful it is there. We went this evening and the sun coming through the trees was just beautiful and perfect and serene. The weather couldn't have been any better either. It was just what I needed today.

Please Don't Take My Sunshine Away

Had my postpartum doc's appointment today. Everything is great! In fact, I lost 21 lbs since I had the baby. It's also less than what I weighed before I got pregnant too! Crazy! I don't say this to brag, I say it because it's exciting for me. And a HUGE surprise. I really didn't think that my body would handle pregnancy so well. I was prepared to be dealing with some pretty crazy weight issues and other things from it all. Now, I just need to keep it up. I'm sure a lot of it had to do with losing 11 lbs my first trimester and really not gaining it back and also having the Gestational Diabetes and having to watch my diet. I haven't done really GREAT with my diet since I've had Ben, but I've been a whole lot more careful with what I eat. So that was my good news today. I also just woke up from a successful hour nap with my Ben who is still sleeping. That was pretty sweet and much needed.

Speaking of Ben, I just love him so much. I know, I'm Captain Obvious- but it's such an incredible and different feeling to be a mommy. He is mine (and Ryan's too!) and needs me and loves me unconditionally and laughs (a little so far) at his silly mommy. It's such a wonderful feeling and he totally lights up my life. I think I know the meaning of the song "You Are My Sunshine" on a whole different level now! I just love to look in his beautiful big blue eyes, I love the sounds he makes and how he breaths in my ear when I'm holding him on my shoulder or when he lays on my chest all snugly. Or the sounds he makes when he's sucking on his beloved binky (which I realize just about every picture of him on this entry he's sucking on it). I love his little pathetic cries he does. I love that he's starting to bald like an old man and even his little baby acne. I love how his warm little body feels when I hold him and calm him down when no one else can. I could go on... I guess I'll spare you.

(that's right!)

We got a video camera that records to an internal hard drive instead of a video tape so we can upload the video to the computer and burn DVD's. It's pretty cool. Here's a (kinda) long video of Ben hanging out on the floor almost turning over! It's probably not as cool to you... but oh well. This is really for mom, she misses the little guy a lot- so I figure this is as close to being able to see him often as you can get. So here you go mom! You can also hear his little grunts he makes. It's funny.

Ally got her hair cut... REALLY short. This is because her hair got badly matted underneath, so they had to shave her pretty close. I have to say though that she looks pretty stinkin' cute in those bows. And it's so much better to see her eyes, for some reason she's so much more annoying to me when I can't see her face well. Don't worry, we don't ever leave the bows in for long.

Before

After

I have a feeling these two are going to be pretty good friends. I love how he watches her, and she is already pretty protective of him. Ryan had the same kind of dog she is when he grew up and loved her SO much. I hope Ben has the same bond with Ally.

Other than that we're doing pretty good. We're getting the hang of this mom and dad thing, the nights aren't so bad and we have been blessed with a very easy going little kid. The weather has been beautiful and I'm just so happy its Spring.

Happy Birthday Alyssa! My niece is 10 today, I just can't believe it...I feel so old. She's such a good girl and I love her and miss her so much! The whole family is in Hawaii right now, what a way to spend a birthday huh? I think they are all very lucky and I hope we can get there someday! Have fun you guys!

I guess it's time to update. All is well. The days are getting shorter to when I have to go back to work. It's making me sad, I wont lie. It's going to be really hard. But I went to the daycare at my office complex where I'm going to be taking him, and it seems "good enough"... and it's close enough I can pop in whenever I want. Which I'm sure I'll do quite often. I took him in to visit my peeps at work too and everyone loved him, of course. It's hard not to! It felt like I hadn't been gone that long too while I was there... I thought 8 weeks would feel like forever, but it really hasn't.

Ben's getting bigger and bigger and heavier. He changes everyday but maybe just to us since we see him all the time. He's starting to smile a little here and there, and make his own little sounds besides crying. His temperament hasn't changed much either. He's tolerating diaper changes better now, and we gave him his first shower the other night and he seemed to like that better than the bath. Although he still cried, just not as much. He's still sleeping in our room in his little bassinet. I think until he gets a few more hours of sleep under his belt, we'll keep him in here. Other than last night, he's done really well sleeping at night. The night before last he slept an almost 7 hour stretch! That's great for us, I just get this guilty feeling for some reason that he's starving even though he's just fine. He wakes up when he's hungry, so I know I shouldn't worry about it. He's a grunter... he makes LOTS of noise when he's hungry. We're getting a video camera soon where you can upload it to your computer, so I'll take some video of it soon to show y'all. It's funny when I'm NOT trying to sleep... and annoying when he HAS eaten and we are trying to sleep. Oh well. :) He also was introduced to his little bouncy chair, it's been a little bit of a heaven sent so I don't have to pull his bassinet in the family room. He's starting to see things and pay attention to movement, so he likes the little animals that hang down and he also likes that his chair vibrates and plays different songs and sounds.

Ally has done really well with Ben. It used to freak her out when he'd cry- but now it's not big deal. She's starting to investigate him more and more now. But she doesn't seem competitive with him at all, and Delinda gives her PLENTY of attention.

It's just such a miracle to look at him everyday and know that I carried him for so long, and that we created life... it's a tad bit overwhelming at times to REALLY think about it. We are so blessed though, he's such a good baby and I know he has a special little spirit inside of him. You can see it in his beautiful wise eyes. I think he will do many good things in this life. Just like I feel about Ryan (on a different level of course) my love for Ben grows everyday.

Well, I finally got a new camera! Now I can do weddings and stuff again. I've really missed it and this camera is awesome. I just need to learn all the tricks and fun things about it!

On another note, Ryan's best friend Michael and his now wife Lori got married the weekend before last. We are SO happy for them, they looked so happy and I LOVED Lori's dress.

We are in the process of cleaning up our front yard. My dad and Ryan planted this little tree to watch it grow along side Ben. We call it "the Ben tree".

Okay, well- I'm going to go take a shower while my little man hangs out on the bed. He likes it on our comfy bed. I need to take advantage of him sleeping.

Just cuz he's the cutest thing EVER

We went to the doctor today for Ben's 1 month check up and he's now 8 lbs and has grown to a whopping 21 inches! He was such a good little dude for the doc and barely even cried, even when he was naked! I am so in love with this little man of mine, isn't he the cutest thing ever? Okay, so those of you who just had their own might think he's the second cutest thing- and that's okay! :)

video clips

These videos are for my brother John who specifically requested to see little Ben through video not just photos. I guess the rest of you can watch too... ha ha! I hope this works!

This one he was just hanging out on the bed next to me. Wide-eyed and super cute.

Here he is drinking his bottle. He makes this little sound every time he drinks and it's just too cute.

My parents left today, and although it was time for all of us- I will miss their company and help. It's all us now... we're official parents with technically no "on hand" help. They were so great to sacrifice so much time to be out here with us. We had clean dishes and laundry, we now have a "Ben tree" in the front yard and pretty flowers to look at... and most importantly my little guy got to spend some quality time with his Collier grandparents. They are so far away and so I am grateful that they got to meet him and for my mom to be here for his birth. I will forever be grateful to them for this time with them, as challenging as it was on occasion. Having 4-5 people in our somewhat small house all at once was a lot to cram in! I have great parents, and I'm SUPER lucky. Ben should NEVER doubt their love for him! He pretty much won them over big time!