It's very unusual for me to remember what I was doing EXACTLY one year ago to the date let alone 6 years. But for the obvious reason of this being the "anniversary" of 9/11/01, I wanted to document what I was doing and how it affected me.
At the time I didn't have my own car, and my friend Ryan W. had lent me his Jeep to drive home to my dive of a basement apt in Orem, UT the night prior. I had to go pick him up pretty early in the morning so I could take him to work and on the way there was listening to 107.5 The End (which no longer exists) with Chunga and Mister (who do still exist) when Chunga announced that a plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Center buildings in New York City. I, of course, did not believe him, because he's a joker and can never be taken seriously. I just thought it was one of his stories that he told. They cut to music and I merrily went on my way to Lehi, enjoying the fresh morning air blowing through the open Jeep with no top or doors on.
I got to Ryan's house and as I approached the top of the stairs to his family room, he said "get up here, did you hear about this?" and right then we watched on the news the second plane fly into the second Trade Center tower. I couldn't believe my eyes! I thought this had to be a mistake! What was wrong with the pilot?! Did they miss the airport and not notice a large building in front of them? I was confused; heart broke for all of the people on the plane, and for all of the people who had just arrived to work for the day. I called my mom in Logan to see if she had heard, and neither she nor my dad knew anything about it. I told them to quickly turn the news on and hung up.
I don't remember what happened for the space of the next couple hours until I got to work at Fotogenix in the mall and had to go into my darkroom to start the up the machines so the chemicals could warm up enough for me to start the responsibility of printing the portraits I was in charge of. My job was easy, but being in the dark all day and that particular day listening to the radio and sad stories and speculations of what happened and why- not only in NYC but in Pennsylvania and at the Pentagon, was depressing me more than usual. I had to leave, I couldn't be there alone in the dark anymore. I remember leaving work early with out getting in trouble- and I think it was because basically the whole mall shut down on that horrible day. I remember going straight home and I literally sat on the floor (mostly because we had no where to sit at our apt) and watched and recorded the news for the rest of the day.
I listened to the stories of the men on one of the planes who tried to fight to survive knowing that they were putting their lives at risk but were willing to do so to save their fellow passengers. I listened to the wives of some of the passengers who talked about getting phone calls and hearing their last goodbye and "I love you" from their beloved husbands knowing they'd never see them again. I was so saddened by the people that were forced to jump out of the building and wondered what compelled them to take that action, and also wondered what I would do given the circumstance. I was saddened for the people who didn't know if their lost ones had made it or not, I was saddened for the people who had to walk and walk to find somewhere to get medical treatment, I was saddened for the people who had to give those people medical attention in such horrid circumstances. All of them, in my mind, were heroes to me. I couldn't and still can't imagine having to go through such a grim and frightening ordeal.
I don't know that I'll never forget that day- not only because of the severity of the attacks but because of how real it made life seem all of a sudden and how unsafe I felt for a moment in time in my own country. I cried a lot that day, overwhelmed by the sadness and destruction. I'd never experienced such an awareness of people who weren't in my own little world and my bubble.
I think today I'm affected by it because I'm now married and have a little one on the way- and the thought of losing my husband makes me so deeply saddened. The thought of losing ANY of my loved ones makes me feel so somber.
I can’t imagine how difficult it is for those who were directly affected by that day, because I know that it wasn't just one day. I know that day will go on and be relived forever. And I pray for comfort in those people's lives. I know that even though I sat and watched it all happened on the television and wasn't actually there, that it had a huge impact on my life. I was and am so grateful that I was safe and that no one I knew had been hurt or killed.