This blog entry is not meant to complain. I've just been contemplating a lot of things. There are things in life that happen that just don't seem to be "fair". I think you know what I mean. For example, my parents are good and righteous people. They have a lot of faith in the Lord and have worked their hinneys (sp?) off for so long that I feel they deserve a break. They are trying to sell their house and move on to better things, and also to be closer to family by moving closer to one of my brothers in St. George, UT. They moved in to an older home about 8-9 years ago so that they could take care of my dad's mom who had Alzheimer's she passed about 5-6 years ago. But because it's an older home- it's been difficult to sell. They've had 2 offers fall through and are really getting a little down and out. As well as the rest of us. You start to question things like are they meant to move? Is there someone out there better suited for the home then the last 2 people were? Things like that. It doesn't seem like a big deal and maybe one or many of your have been through the same experience of not being able to sell your home. This is just the tip of the iceberg for my parents though- they really have been through A LOT the last few years. It seems to that they just deserve a break from it all.
Another example: my best friend's mom is going through some health issues. It just happened too. She's been healthy otherwise and now all of a sudden things have switched into high gear and surgeries are happening and MRI's and all sorts of not fun things. She is terrified of losing her mom. I am too. But because it's happening to her, it's all of a sudden VERY real. But why now? Why at all? Is this trial for her mom? Or for her dad, or for their kids?
The thing is, I know all of this is "for our good". To "test our faith"... or something. I know all of that. I believe all of that. I really do. BUT I do think it's okay to feel that it sucks in the meantime. I don't know why my parents have to constantly struggle and it makes me sad. I wish I seriously had a magic wand that could make it all go away for them. They've been through enough. Anyway- I guess my point is that I'm not afraid to say that it sucks to go through trials anymore. It's okay to have a poopy attitude about it, not to the point where it drags you down but it's okay to be sad or even mad for that matter. We truly cannot know happiness until we know sorrow. I know through it all too that Heavenly Father loves us. He knows what the reason is, and I guess in the long run it's all that matters. Hopefully someday we'll either realize why or He'll get to tell us. I do know that he will never give us more than He knows we can handle- even if it feels like we want to give up during it all and can't move we're crying so much, etc. Keep praying. PRAY HARD. I know I will be.
2 comments:
Okay it must have been a long day for me but I'm crying now. It really feels like everything you said was directly said at me. I truly hope your parents do get a break. I also wonder sometimes why certain people get the hand they're dealt, but maybe if for nothing else it's so you can write about it and I can read it and have it be exactly what I needed to hear at this moment. I love you and hope things are better down the road.
I went through a time like this for a while. I wondered why all these things were happening and then I almost felt guilty for feeling bad because we believe it is all for our "own good". But then I realized in life we were meant to feel grief and pain and that I could own those feelings and had the right to feel them and still keep my faith. That being said Life just sucks sometimes. My wise mission president said, "You will have good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks, good months and bad months, good years and bad years."
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