HAPPY HALLOWEEN! ARG MATEY!

Updates

For no particular reason, other than looking at decorations, I just got SUPER excited TO decorate for Christmas! I know, I know... it isn't even Halloween yet... or Thanksgiving... I'll wait. I just got excited.

So, more on the thunder triggering Ben to want to sleep... last night he was wired up pretty good. Well, I mean he's 2 and is a little boy and is just always in the mood to play. We had all the lights off in the family room except for the tv, and were down on the floor with him talking to him and playing and getting ready for bed. I was having to roll him back over to his back about 5 times just to get his diaper off and a new one on. He escaped between the off and back on period... rolling around like a crazy naked monkey! After diaper and jammies were on he was sitting on Ryan's back watching tv and Ryan suddenly said "Was that thunder?", instantly... he ran to me and sat in my lap and cuddled up to be and said "I got to sleep mommy". He then hurried and got up for his "Duh-reeky" (Translation: Blankey) and we all went to his room so he could go to bed. So now... 1. is he afraid of the thunder, and feels like the only way to make it "go away" is to sleep? OR 2. does he just feel so comforted by the rain and thunder sounds that it makes him WANT to sleep? And so he thinks that he HAS to go to bed when it's like that? When and if it's REALLY raining outside, he sleeps like a ROCK. If it's during nap time, he sleeps for like 3 hours. I don't know... but whatever it is, we think it's HILARIOUS! And quite cute too. Because I really don't want him to be afraid of the thunder and lightning. I was as a kid; I'd sleep in my parents room on the floor, like practically under their bed when it was like that outside. I just don't want him to fear it like I did. So what are your thoughts? Should we get him the rain/thunder soundtrack as before mentioned by my cousin in the comments? I think so... you know, mixed in with his normal nighttime music! So quirky... I love it.
-Right now, Ben is talking A LOT. And really well. He's starting to be helpful too which is good. He's really getting the hang of his colors, I was worried for a minute. He likes to quiz me like I quiz him. I'll ask him what some colors or shapes are, and then he'll start asking me and he'll even occasionally say "good!".

-We've been working really hard on not allowing him to ask for things with "I want...", that's not okay. So we've been teaching him he needs to ask "Can I have a cracker" or "Can I have more water" or whatever. For a long time we'd say hoping he'd repeat after us "Can... I..." and instead of repeating he'd nod his head and say "HAVE..." we could do this over and over again!! So funny. But now he's got it and when he says it right I usually say "yes you can!" so now he says "Can I have cats, please? Yes you can!".
-He's counting pretty good, although after 4 he starts saying 7 or 9 a lot. For example: "1...2...3...4...7...9...7!" He was playing with Play-dough yesterday and I made some "snakes" for him, 5 to be exact... and he counted all of them correctly by himself!
-He WAS doing really good on the potty at home, and not so well at school. Now it's turned the opposite way. Good at school, and maybe I'm too lax at home. Either way- he'll get it when it's right, when he's 3 and not completely potty trained I'll worry. My hopes are obviously, that it wont get to that point!
-He's kind of in to pirates right now. He has a pirate towel and he's going to be a pirate for Halloween and even the other night when I was changing his diaper on a blanket, he took the corner and covered his eye with it and said "Look Mommy! I a pirate!". I turned on Pirates of the Caribbean the other day, and decided it wasn't worth letting him watch it because I had to skip through a lot of parts so he wouldn't get scared. He didn't seem scared, and actually really enjoyed it- but it's still a little too grown up for him. So I think I might get the Muppet's Treasure Island.... that should be pirate-y enough!
-He says a lot of things with a Boston sounding accent... like his "R's" aren't a true R sound. It's cute. I'll have to see if I can get some video of it. Like he says "Duwty" instead of dirty and "whoa whoa whoa your boat...", but not all of his R's sound like that. I like it though... of course.
-He loves Cars the movie and the song Life is a Highway from it. He can sing it pretty good, well the chorus anyway. He really loves music. He loves singing, and has pretty good pitch. Which, I'm so happy about. He likes the songs "Sound of Settling", "Could You Be Loved", "Life is a Highway" (obviously), primary songs, "C is for Cookie", and a lot of others.

-Ben is beginning to recognize his family in pictures and learn their names. The other night he was looking through a photo album picture frame we have sitting out and I heard him say "my mommy!" and "Uncle John" and a few other people. I was super proud of him when he could show me everyone in our family picture I have in his room of my family. I make sure to make it a point that he knows who Shauna is also, even though she's gone now.
-At night lately when we says prayers, he's been starting to interject who he wants me to bless next. It's usually "Ben, Mommy, Daddy" and then maybe Ashley and Jacob and Grandma and Grandpa. Last week during Sacarment meeting he said "Amen" really loud during a talk when he thought that the man speaking was finishing up, but really wasn't! At least he knows!

-oh! starting almost two weeks ago, we got Ben in his big boy bed at night! Well, he calls it his "School Bus Bed". He insists that it's a school bus, not a car bed. So Please... don't call it a car. He's done really well! We decided not to make it a big deal, so he didn't- and he's rocked it. Other than not being able to take naps on it on the weekends sometimes, he's slept really well in it. One night he couldn't find his blankey and woke up crying and screaming for it. I went to his room to find out what was wrong and he cried saying "My duh-reeky! My duh-reeky!". We still need to get him a Cars blankey, because we promised him one- but he hasn't asked, so maybe for Christmas. (this is one of the few times he actually napped, but he wasn't feeling well...so that's probably why)
-He loves his pets. last night he asked for Ally to be on his bed. Then about 2 mins later wanted her to get up, and she wouldn't because she was comfy and he said "Tell her mommy! tell her!". But this morning he got her a treat all by himself. I didn't even have to ask him either- although he asked me to make sure it was OK. It's just what we do every morning. He turns off the TV and gives Ally her treat. Those are his responsibilities. :)

-One of his new things, because I apparently say it A LOT is saying "Mmm-hmm!" instead of yes. I just asked him if he was eating and he said "MMMHMMM". He's cute.

There are a lot of other little things that are so cute that he does. There's A LOT of not so cute things he does too. He's full on in to the tantrums and cries EVERY TIME we say "no" or anything that resembles no, which usually ends up with him in time out in his room or something. He's definitely turning into a little boy, sound affects and all. So far, he's not mischeavious though, and I'm REALLY grateful for that. I have to remember sometimes... that boys are not the most gentle cuddly things in the world though- and that's OKAY!

VOTE VOTE VOTE!!!

I saw this contest in my emails a while back and wanted to enter it, but didn't feel like I had the right picture to capture Ben. So I took some yesterday really quick and entered him in the GAP Casting Call contest. Eh- why not? Go and vote for Benny please!
http://www.gapcastingcall.com/GapCastingCall/EntryDetail.html?id=966065
THIS is the picture I wanted to submit, but didn't work for some reason.
So handsome huh?

Pumpin Patch

On the 9th of October we did our 4th annual Burt's Pumpkin farm trip! We met sort of early that morning and headed straight up to the Farm. We spent about an hour or so there, we were hoping to take Ben on the tractor ride this year- but the line was four million years long, so we decided we'd try again another time. Ben seems to be excited AFTER we go to places like this... not really DURING. I think he is SUPER aware of people around him and likes to watch and listen and take it all in. And it might even be a little overwhelming to him too. He wasn't so in to taking pictures and wanted to be held a lot. I honestly felt a little distant myself, not sure why- I think I had been overly exhausted that week and it was taking it's toll on me probably. BUT... I did have a moment where I just stood in the middle of all the pumpkins... breathing in the fresh air mixed in with the sweet smell of freshly baking pumpkin bread and looked at the cute red barn against the bright blue sky and the pretty fall colors surrounding me... just taking it all in. I truly do love this tradition... there's something about it that makes my heart warm and ushers in that feeling of the fun and festive seasons approaching. It's almost like being in a movie or something. Straight out of a picture book. We got our "pumpins" (as Ben calls them), loaded them (and him) in the wheelbarrow and got a few other little goodies, like Pure Raw Honey from local harvesters (is that what they're called?) and headed up the road to Amicalola Falls. Which, both were ridiculously crowded but who can you blame? It was a BEAUTIFUL fall day. We found a little playground above the falls that no one was at and we ate lunch there and Ben played with his guys and then we headed home. We sadly didn't get to actually SEE the falls, but like I mentioned before- it was SUPER crowded and we just didn't take the time to do it.

So now we've got our uncarved pumpins sitting and waiting to be carved on the front porch. Hopefully we'll get to it before Halloween! Ben's going to be a pirate this year, and we've already been practicing his "ARGGGG!" and "Arg Matey!"... he's got it down pretty good!
Here's to the Fall! Enjoy!
This years family photo did NOT work out so well...

I don't think we're in Kansas anymore... Or Flag...whatever.

There was a tornado in my home town of Flagstaff, AZ at the beginning of the month. When I heard about this (from Ryan who was looking at an article posted on our news channel here in Georgia) I couldn't believe it! A tornado in Flag?

Oct 6th, 2010

[Updated at 1:44 p.m.] At least two tornadoes struck Wednesday near Flagstaff, Arizona, injuring seven people, derailing a train and damaging more than 100 homes, authorities said.
Several reports of two other tornadoes also came into the National Weather Center. Officials were looking at whether there was a total of four tornadoes, or just multiple reports of the same ones.
[Updated at 12:19 p.m.] The National Weather Service received an unconfirmed report of a tornado near Wing Mountain, northwest of Flagstaff, Arizona, on Wednesday morning at 5:20 am MST. If confirmed, this will be the fourth tornado to touch down in Arizona on Wednesday morning.
[Updated at 12:02pa.m.] A tornado has been reported near Flagstaff, Arizona, The National Weather Service reported.
The tornado was located at the mile marker 140 on Interstate 40, 16 miles west of Flagstaff at 8:43 am MST on Wednesday morning, the NWS reported.
This is the third tornado to touch down in Arizona on Wednesday morning. The other two tornadoes touched down in the community of Bellemont, northwest of Flagstaff, earlier this morning.
[Updated at 11:03 a.m.] Seven people were injured by a tornado that touched down in Bellemont on Wednesday morning, the National Weather Service Forecast Office in Flagstaff, Arizona, reported.
Two tornadoes have been confirmed by the National Weather Service in Bellemont. One of them touched down just a quarter of a mile west of the forecast office in Bellemont.
Warnings were issued for central Coconino and notheastern Yavapai counties.
Radar continued to show several thunderstorms in central and north-central Arizona capable of producing tornadoes with little or no advance notice, the weather service said. A tornado watch continues for central and north-central Arizona until 11 a.m. (2 p.m. ET).
[Posted at 10:03 a.m.] A tornado touched down in the community of Bellemont, Arizona, just west-northwest of Flagstaff on Interstate 40 on Wednesday morning, The National Weather Service Forecast Office in Flagstaff reported.
A National Weather Service employee reports extensive damage to businesses, damage to roofs and fences, a derailed train and several trucks overturned.

A moment in Time

It's neat to experience moments that we know will go down in history. The good ones, the bad ones, the bad ones that turn in to good ones. Like 9/11, the first Black President of the United States of America (whether or not he is like, that's still history), and now today the Chilean Miners that were rescued from the mine they've been surviving in for nearly 70 days. I wanted to specifically note this event because these men have been such an amazing inspiring to me and lots of other people.
I am posting this article purely for history's sake so when I print my blog book, I have it forever. (taken from Fox News)

After 69 Days, All 33 Chilean Miners Have Been Rescued

Published October 13, 2010 Associated Press

SAN JOSE MINE, Chile-- The last of the Chilean miners has been raised from deep beneath the earth. All 33 men have now been delivered from the longest underground entrapment in history.

The foreman who held the group together when they were feared lost was the last man out. Luis Alberto Urzua was hoisted to safety in a joyous climax to a flawless rescue that captivated the world

The intricately planned rescue that ended late Wednesday moved with remarkable speed -- and flawless execution -- hauling up miner after miner in a cramped cage through a narrow hole drilled through 2,000 feet of rock.

The 33 men spent more than 69 days trapped in the lower reaches of the mine after a huge collapse of rock blocked the way out on Aug. 5.

The men emerged to the cheers of exuberant Chileans and before the eyes of a transfixed globe.

"Welcome to life," President Sebastian Pinera told Victor Segvia, the 15th miner out, and on a day of superlatives, it seemed no overstatement.

They rejoined a world intensely curious about their ordeal, and certain to offer fame, jobs and previously unimaginable riches.

The men made the smooth ascent inside a capsule called Phoenix -- 13 feet tall, barely wider than their shoulders and painted in the white, red and blue of the Chilean flag. It had a door that stuck occasionally, and its wheels needed lubricating at least once, but it worked exactly as planned.

Beginning at midnight Tuesday, and sometimes as quickly as every 30 minutes, the pod was lowered the nearly half-mile to where 700,000 tons of rock collapsed Aug. 5 and entombed the men. Then a miner would strap himself in, make the journey upward and emerge from a manhole into the blinding sun.

The rescue was planned with extreme care. The miners were monitored by video on the way up for any sign of panic. They had oxygen masks, dark glasses to protect their eyes from unfamiliar light and sweaters for the jarring transition from subterranean swelter to chilly desert air.

As they neared the surface, a camera attached to the top of the capsule showed a brilliant white piercing the darkness not unlike what accident survivors describe when they have near-death experiences.

The miners emerged looking healthier than many had expected and even clean-shaven, and at least one, Mario Sepulveda, the second to taste freedom, bounded out and thrust a fist upward like a prizefighter.

"We have prayed to San Lorenzo, the patron saint of miners, and to many other saints so that my brothers Florencio and Renan would come out of the mine all right. It is as if they had been born again," said Priscila Avalos. One of her brothers was the first miner rescued, and the other was due out later in the evening.

As it traveled down and up, down and up, the rescue capsule was not rotating as much inside the 2,041-foot escape shaft as officials expected, allowing for faster trips, and officials said the operation could be complete by sunrise Thursday, if not sooner.

The first man out was Florencio Avalos, who emerged from the missile-like chamber and hugged his sobbing 7-year-old son, his wife and the Chilean president.

No one in recorded history has survived as long trapped underground. For the first 17 days, no one even knew whether they were alive. In the weeks that followed, the world was captivated by their endurance and unity.

Chile exploded in joy and relief at the first, breakthrough rescue just after midnight in the coastal Atacama desert. Car horns sounded in Santiago, the Chilean capital, and school was canceled in the nearby town of Copiapo, where 24 of the miners live.

News channels from North America to Europe and the Middle East carried live coverage. Pope Benedict XVI said in Spanish that he "continues with hope to entrust to God's goodness" the fate of the men. Iran's state English-language Press TV followed events live for a time. North Korean state TV had a crew at the mine.

The images beamed to the world were extraordinary: Grainy footage from beneath the earth showed each miner climbing into capsule, then disappearing upward through an opening. Then a camera showed the pod steadily rising through the dark, smooth-walled tunnel.

Most of the men emerged clean-shaven. Crews had lowered packages dubbed "palomas," Spanish for carrier pigeons, with food and medicine for the weeks underground, and in the days before rescue they were sent razors and shaving cream.

The entire rescue operation was meticulously choreographed. No expense was spared in bringing in topflight drillers and equipment -- and boring three separate holes into the copper and gold mine.

Mining is Chile's lifeblood, providing 40 percent of state earnings, and Pinera put his mining minister and the operations chief of state-owned Codelco, the country's biggest company, in charge of the rescue.

It went so well that its managers abandoned a plan to restrict images of the rescue. A huge Chilean flag that was to obscure the hole from view was moved aside so the hundreds of cameras perched on a hill above could record images that state TV also fed live.

That included the surreal moment when the capsule dropped for the first time into the chamber, where the bare-chested miners, most stripped down to shorts because of the underground heat, mobbed the rescuer who emerged to serve as their guide to freedom.

"This rescue operation has been so marvelous, so clean, so emotional that there was no reason not to allow the eyes of the world -- which have been watching this operation so closely -- to see it," a beaming Pinera told a news conference after Avalos was brought to the surface.

The operation started just before midnight, when a Codelco rescuer made the sign of the cross and was lowered to the trapped men. A navy paramedic went down after Avalos came up -- a surprise improvisation as officials had said the two would go down to oversee the miners' ascent before the first went up.

Engineers inserted steel piping at the top of the shaft, which is angled 11 degrees off vertical before plunging like a waterfall. Drillers had to curve the shaft to pass through "virgin" rock, narrowly avoiding collapsed areas and underground open spaces in the overexploited mine, which had operated since 1885.

In Washington, President Barack Obama said the rescue had "inspired the world." The crews included a team from Center Rock Inc. of Berlin, Pa., that built and managed the piston-driven hammers that pounded open the hole.

As trying as their time underground was, the miners now face challenges so bewildering that no amount of coaching can fully prepare them. Rejoining a world intensely curious about their ordeal, they have been invited to presidential palaces, to take all-expenses-paid vacations and to appear on countless TV shows. Book and movie deals are pending, along with job offers.

Sepulveda's performance exiting from the shaft appeared to confirm what many Chileans thought when they saw his engaging performances in videos sent up from below -- that he could have a future as a TV personality.

But he tried to quash the idea as he spoke to viewers of Chile's state television channel while sitting with his wife and children shortly after his rescue.

"The only thing I'll ask of you is that you don't treat me as an artist or a journalist, but as a miner," he said. "I was born a miner and I'll die a miner."

So now my point of view. I had seen videos or photos of these men during their time under ground, and they were always waving and happy. Given their circumstances, it seems to me that they depended on the Lord and kept the happiest they could be, because they were alive and healthy. It seemed to me that not one of them was angry or upset, and were especially grateful when they were rescued. I only watched a handful of them being rescued, but for each one I got a little misty-eyed because I felt a sense of relief for them, I was happy that they could be with their families again, and that they were not trapped any longer. It made me grateful for what I have even more, and helped me realize that I need to stay happy and positive even when life's course is not what I thought it would be.

3 things

- Ben MUST be either done teething (FINALLY!!! Angels are singing "Rejoice!") OR he's going through a growth spurt, or both. Because he's been a little piggy lately! Probably the most I've ever seen him! This gives me much happiness because he's a little underweight and well, he needs the energy and should eat like little boys do! I personally think it's a combo of both done with teething and growth spurt. He has asked for more and more food the last couple of nights and we have been giving it to him gladly. He even made homemade fish sticks I made and didn't grimace or spit it out! Miracle! ... I wonder how long it'll last. Hmph.
-We have neighbors across the street who seem to be quite the odd couple. They're probably both in their late 40's, early 50's- at least he is. She might be younger. But man, she LOVES to listen to her music in the car... and LOUD! It's kind of hilarious to hear loud bass driving down the road thinking it's some irresponsible teen when really it's Mrs. So&So pulling in her garage in her YELLOW car with a bumpin' sound system! ...awesome.
-Is it bad that just now, when we were putting Ben to sleep he heard something that resembled thunder and he said "Thunder! *gasp* I got to sleep!" and laid down quickly, and we said "yah! It's thunder, better go to sleep!"???? No my friends, there is NO thunder. No rain. No nothing. BUT, he was jumping and giggling and talking one second to almost asleep in seconds flat with the thought of thunder. A possible icky situation avoided, right? (BTW-I'm pretty sure he LOVES to sleep when it's raining outside, I think that relaxes him more than his nighttime music by far. pretty cute if you ask me.)

Soundtrack

Do you ever listen to a song that makes you feel like you're in a movie? Like, in your life- you're playing out a scene in a movie, and the song you're listening to is the background music/soundtrack? I had one of those moments the other day, it was a Nick Drake song... and I just felt like at that moment that song was meant to play in my life movie. It was kind of a mellow almost tired sounding song- which is really how I feel lately! Except for maybe the mellow part, life is super busy and somewhat stressful at the moment.
There are also moments in my life where I listen to a song and it immediately brings back a memory and takes me there to what happened when I listened to that song. A lot of 80's songs remind me of riding in the mountains in UT in a Jeep with no doors or windows on. There are certain songs that remind me A LOT of my older siblings or even my parents. Some songs I listen to just for the song, others I listen to for the lyrics. I hold music very dear to my heart, in all sorts of different ways. It's what helps me work faster, it makes me happy, sometimes I like singing along- sometimes I don't, it reminds me of good times or even not so good (can't listen to Angel from Sarah McLaughlin only because I had a roommate a while back that would listen to that song EXTREMELY loud to let us all know that she was mad and ((needed attention)) needed to be left alone...ugh). Shout by Tears for Fears reminds me of the Foothill High School swimming pool in Cali. Subdivisions by Rush reminds me of Greg (my brother) and driving the Alipe Loop with a random girl that wanted to date him. Feist and the Gorillaz remind me of the summer Ryan and I met and started hanging out with each other. Baby's Got Sauce by G. Love is totally Delinda... and so many other songs.
Are you a lyrics or song person? (meaning, do you like songs because of the lyrics or because of the way it sounds?)
Are there any songs that remind YOU of ME? And why?

Okay, maybe I'm more excited about this than I should be. But I got all of these clothes for Ben, for $15 tonight at Old Navy!!! They're clearance is an extra 50% off (until tomorrow)! I think I even introduced Ryan to the "digging for it" technique and how fun it is to find steals. The 2T's aren't always going to be with the 2T's... you've got to look, at EVERYTHING. Ryan REALLY wanted the Charlie Brown t-shirt! And I got the "67" shirt for $.48! SCORE! I just REALLY love bargain shopping for his clothes and really find that's THE only way for me to do it. It makes NO sense to pay full price when I can buy it on clearance the year/season before! I'm all for used clothing, but sometimes buying NEW on clearance is still cheaper! Even the jeans were $3.49! Such an awesome deal. Some of these he wont be able to wear for quite some time, but that's okay! I just can't pass up a good deal! Okay, I'm done.

Photo Journal

I need to post some pictures and journal a few things. I might just have to post the pictures with short explanations. I've been SUPER busy lately, mostly with photo shoots- which is AWESOME, but haven't had a lot of time to blog.

This was at Stake Conference for Church and they had a musical number by the choir and anytime there is a musical number at church Ben always wants to watch. He likes to stand up and watch and listen and usually will stay up the WHOLE song with out distraction! (Although in this picture he was obviously distracted because he wasn't looking forward!)

Ben really enjoys hanging out with Miss Aubrey. He gets REALLY excited to see her and even agreed to hold her hand as we were all coming out of the restaurant from dinner the other night. He's going to have a lot of girls to worry about one day I fear!

This was just a cute shot I got of him sleeping!

At this moment in time I felt like EVERYONE (except for Ryan) needed to be on me. Not that I mind...

We went to Piedmont Park for a family sitting I was doing. It might not have been the greatest idea for the whole family to come in retrospect, but we still managed to have some fun in the HOT, HOT miserable heat!

Ben had his 2 1/2 year check up. He's so TINY! He only gained a pound and maybe like half and inch. He's in the 3-5th %tile for height and 10th for weight. He's still wearing 18-24 month pants, but his torso keeps getting longer, just like his daddy's. He got an extra sticker from Dr. Greenwald for using the big boy potty while we were there!

We got to visit with some old friends of ours, Joel & Keely Robinson. We knew them in the singles ward at church and they now live far, far away in Virginia. I haven't seen them in FOREVER, so we headed to Mellow Mushroom to visit with them and their cute little girl. It was a good visit!
Ally really loves to hide under the bed. We mostly see her tail sticking out, but this was too cute to pass up.

Ashley and Jacob have recently acquired a toddler bed for us to use. We have not brought it home to put up yet, but... uh... we plan on it soon. Ben calls it the "school bus bed". It even has a sunroof! LUCKY! I think he'll enjoy it, we just need to figure out where the heck to put it!

Two Saturdays ago we went to see Sesame Street Live at Philips Arena, courtesy of free tickets from my work! SCORE! Ben was mesmerized! More to come on that... as soon as I find the little camera with the photos on it!

We got to stop for TCBY after! Our A/C was out ALL that weekend so we did everything NOT at home that we possibly could because it was SO HOT. The frozen yogurt was refreshing and a treat Ben doesn't normally get, so it was fun.

The Elton's let us borrow their fish tank. We bought 3 fish and by approval of Ben named them Ham, Goomba and Betty. We're down 2 and still have Goomba currently, although I'm not sure how much longer he's going to stick around. We think the weekend with no A/C made the water too warm and some kind of bad bacteria must've dun dem in. Ryan was heart broken... they're his first fish. (Insert sad face here)

Sweet Memories

So today marks 6 months since my big sister Shauna passed. I sure have missed her. I have lots of really neat dreams though where I've gotten to hug her and tell her I miss and love her and either it's just my way of coping or her way of coming to comfort me. I'd like to hope it's the later. I have a lot of thoughts about it... I'm not sure how to write them out though. It's still terribly hard. I still cry a lot. I still think about her everyday, and how I could've been a better sister and friend to her. I wonder what it's like where she is, and if she feels loved. I wonder if she watches our family and watches over us and knows how much we feel a vacancy with out her here with us on this Earth. It's so weird to send emails with pictures of Ben to everyone, except for Shauna. I can't delete her phone number out of my phone or her address out of my address book... it's too hard. Every once in a while, Facebook shows her profile as someone I am recommended to reach out to... man, if I could I WOULD! I really miss hearing her call me her "Little One". I miss how she used to laugh and get tickled when I sang to her "I'm gonna beat you up, beat you up, beat YOU UUUUUPPPP-ah!" She loved that. I have little torn up pink sticky notes in my blue recipe book she went through once to choose some recipes that I refuse to take out. I have her funeral program in two places in my house and a photo of the two of us I gave her that her partner Randi gave back to me in the family room. I just miss her, period. And it sucks she's gone. Randi sent me a package of letters and pictures I sent to Shauna over the years that she saved. She saved EVERYTHING. I haven't even been able to bring my self to look at them yet. I had Ryan put them away for me until I can muster up the strength to do it with out crying my eyes out.
Reminder to myself... PLEASE, PLEASE don't take your family for granted. Tell them you love them, often. Be their friend. Know what is going on in their lives. Be kind. Be understanding and Christ-like and non-judgemental. You never know when Heavenly Father will decide to bring them back to be with him and leave you with their memory. Make the best of the time you have with them NOW.

A Child's Prayer

(Ben in his church clothes. He was SO handsome, he even thought so because he kept checking himself out in the mirror!)

Last night after dinner was prepared I peered over the counter to my husband sitting at the table waiting to eat, and my little dude sitting in his high chair to the right of him (not) waiting to eat. And I said "okay, let's bless the food" I asked Ryan and Ben I guess decided I was asking him and I asked him if he wanted to bless the food and he said yes. He folded his arms and squinted his eyes and covered them up with his folded arms- and said VERY quietly "Heavenly Father (in two year old accent)..." and then proceeded to mumble some words like "pweese" and "bless" and some other incomprehensibly cute things. I had to help him out a little bit, but he finished it up with a great big "AMEN". It wasn't his first "prayer", but it was different this time because he did it all almost by himself and he wanted to and he knew how... It was SO adorable, and it put a big gigantic smile on my face and a melody in my heart-and I felt so proud of my little 2 1/2 year old BOY who is growing up so very quickly before my eyes. I am so grateful he is in our lives. I am so grateful for the way he learns so quickly and loves his family. He's going to be a good man one day and I know it's because he has a wise spirit in that tiny little body.

Thundering Waters Labor Day

Well, Labor Day weekend has come and gone and it's officially not summer anymore. I guess it's Autumn now? Because it's not quite Fall to me yet. It's still very green and HOT. It's supposed to be in the 90's this week, so to me- it's Fall yet.

We had a fun Labor Day weekend this year. It seems in the past that we usually try and make it to the beach one last time before it gets too cold to go and enjoy it. But that didn't happen this year. We decided to go to the Thundering Waters cabin we have loved to rent the last year or so with everyone. It's so inexpensive (even though it sounds like it wouldn't be), and homey, and relaxing, and not a long drive away from home. We're all familiar with it now and feel like we have a place there. I wont go into too much detail about what we did, because in reality it wasn't much. But that's what was nice. We did have the opportunity this time to get in the Chattahoochee River and play though because it is still nice and warm out. We've only ever been in winter so it's always been too cold to go. When we got there Ryan spotted some abandoned tubes (used from a local tubing company) on the rocks below the house by the rapids. I would like to hope that they floated away and down stream and that no one got hurt and left them. Anyway- we got there Friday night and then Saturday we went out to the river so Ryan could "rescue" them. I only got in to my feet that time, Ben wanted to go in so we just took his socks and shoes and shorts off. Later that day, after Ben's nap and after playing some games and waiting on Clint and Geoff to arrive- we all suited up and went down to play. It was us, the Terry's, Jennifer and the aforementioned gentlemen. :) We all had fun, it was refreshing and there was lots of fun rapids and water falls to go down. Ben had a good time too. We rested Sunday, mostly played games and Wii and then Monday we (me and all the boys) went out to play in the river again. Jennifer took lots of pictures for us. Ryan took Ben down a couple times and he LOVED it. He giggled and smiled and had so much fun. He played in the sand a lot too. The boys all went down the rapids sans the tubes too, we got some funny face pictures from that! Anyway, we had fun as always up there. Fun group, relaxing, cozy, good food, good times. Oh and the weather was PERFECT. AND I didn't get sick this time. I usually always have something when we're there. Although, Ryan didn't have a lot of good luck because he fell up some stairs and then down some others! Poor guy.

I also saw this as an opportunity to spend some quality time with Ben on his potty training. He was a ROCKSTAR! Well, he already is in my opinion but he did really well. I'm still not comfortable with putting him in straight up undies all the time, but we're getting there. He's still having accidents in his pants, so we're keeping either diapers or pull ups on still.

But, we have had a WONDERFULLY fun Summer and I now we'll have a wonderfully fun Fall and (hopefully) Winter too!

Ben has had another "1st's" weekend. He accomplished a lot of things this past weekend that he never has before and we're SO proud of him! And in no particular order, here they are!

-helped his momma make some blueberry muffins for breakfast! Now... he dumped the package of muffin mix in the bowl and I measured out all the wet ingredients and he dumped those in also.

-Went bowling!

-decided he was okay with potty training, and #1 and #2'd in the potty!!!! I have NEVER been so excited for someone to use the toilet in my life! Well... I'm sure there were a few times I was excited for ME to use a potty...

-has decided that ANYTHING that's broken or that resembles broken needs batteries. For example his blue plastic basket that has a broken side... needs batteries. :)

Beezy

I think I forgot to mention Ben's latest thing to say. It's amazing just how much these little kids of ours listen to us, even when we think they aren't. The other night I was making dinner and Ben wanted to "help" but I told him that he could help me next time and that I was busy because I was tyring to get us all fed at a decent hour. So when dinner was done, I called Ben to come eat and he said "No Mommy, I beeeeezzzy". Which is actually quite cute. He also started saying when I call for him, "don't call me mommy". And has now since combined the two! The other day I called him from the bedroom when he was in the family room. He came to me with his eyes are squinted and said very seriously "Mommy, don't call me. I beezy." and I said "yah, I'm busy too" and he said "I beezey too. I play with my toys." and then walked out and said "BYE!" He's a hoot.

Still enjoying it even two years later...

A New Member of the Smith Family

Introducing little Sofie! We drove with Nana to go pick out a little Lhasa Apso girl. Ryan grew up with a Lhasa Apso named Mandy and I think ever since then both the Smith's and Ryan decided they wouldn't have another kind of dog. (Hence why we have Ally whom we love very much.) She's a lot bigger than Ally was, but she is a snuggle bug and already loves Ben. On the way home, she pretty much insisted on sitting in his lap in the car seat. She didn't want to sit with me or anyone else but him. And he loved it. He drove his cars up and down her back and she didn't mind a bit. We brought her to our house to meet Ally and so that we could let her out of the car before we took her over to the Smith's. Plus Ryan and Debbie had to go to the pet store to pick some stuff up, and Ben needed to nap. We've been a little lame in that we haven't socialized Ally much. We need to... but I think she just doesn't give a crap about other dogs now! Anyway, Sofie is cute and we're excited to see her grow! And hopefully her and Ally will be buddies. I'm sure once she's out of her "puppy" stage and Ally can tolerate her more, they will be!

I don't know why, but I don't remember a lot of things from like oh 9 or 10 years old and back. I do remember a few things, but they're very gray in my mind and I'm not even sure I'm remembering it correctly. But every once in a while, something triggers a memory for me. A song, and smell, a sound...I just heard a sound that for one reason or the other happened and made me think of my childhood days either after school everyday or during the summer, all day long. My manager who sits near me has a small tape player at her desk that (she just told me) she got from a second hand store. When she got it, it came with a tape already in it, and she was just trying to do something with it and it kept playing some piano music. The sound of a cassette tape nowadays is odd to hear first of all, but that with the combination of piano music triggered the memories of my mom's voice students she had all those years of growing up. She also taught piano, but the recordings usually came from the voice lessons she gave. I do have a very distinct picture in my head of our living room in Flagstaff looking from the bottom of the stairs, or the top of the balcony upstairs or from the dining room. We had parquet floors and it stepped down in to the in the "dusty rose" (pink) carpeted living room with white lace curtains I used to hide behind and a big bay window that looked out to the beautifully landscaped front yard. Mom ran the Nola Collier Studio of Music (right mom?) with these voice and piano students for many years. She also taught at Northern Arizona University while we were in Flagstaff- but I feel like she enjoyed her home studio the best. Many of my weekends or nights were spent helping with recitals, master classes and also when she had to do juries (not to be confused with jury duty). We only had one car and so dad and I would take mom to Ashurst Auditorium at NAU for these different events. The thing that triggered my thoughts about all of this though is that mom would have Sis. Tobbler or other talented people (who I can't think of their names right now) play accompaniments while she recorded them on her tape player in her "studio" in the living room. This was to play for the students during their lessons if the accompanist couldn't be there for the lesson, or to take home and practice. (I think I named Sis. Tobbler in particular because I remember she would come for several lessons at a time, and while mom's students were warming up she would sit on the couch and knit or crochet or read.) Mom also would record the student singing so that they could hear themselves and learn the parts they were singing weakly in the tape better. I just remember that background sound of the tapes being rewound, fast forwarded, stopped, played, stopped, etc. in preparation for her next lesson. She was very organized. I used to love listening to SOME of the students sing (not all were good) and I began to memorize a lot of the songs; especially the Phantom of the Opera and Les Miserables songs (although, I don't really remember them that well anymore) and other songs from the Basics of Singing book. So much so that, every once in a while I remember my mom calling from downstairs to me playing in my room upstairs to be quiet because they could hear me singing along and it was disrupting the lesson! oops! (I must confess that embarrasses me now... hopefully they just thought I was a cute kid and not annoying.) Some of mom's best students in my young opinion were Ervie Isom, Midori (I don't remember how to spell her last name), and Shayne. There were very many more, my mother has a way with teaching people how to sing. From totally tone deaf to almost bearable which is quite a feat. Even in her 73rd year she is still leading people in music. For the 1billionth time she's the ward choir director, and true to form when she is called there is no one in the choir and by the time she leaves there are 30-40. I remember my friends in the Flagstaff 6th ward saying to me that they loved to hear my mother sing, and if she made a CD of her singing they would listen to it all the time! Although she doesn't sing much anymore, I will always cherish those memories of her. Her beautiful voice, her Love of music, and her ability to share it with just about anyone.

And that cassette tapes were pretty cool too. So weird our kids will never know them...

It's starting to get to the point where I'm needing the Fall. It's hot. It's hot and humid and has been for FIFTY days... My cucumbers are dead, my peas are dead...our grass is brown and it's too hot to mow. Plus the mosquitoes are out like crazy. I feel like I'm constantly falling asleep at my desk... I just always feel tired. BUT...on the positive side, it's still warm enough to go to the pool. My squash, green peppers and Tomatoes are still fairing pretty well, the earth is still pretty and green and the days are still pretty long. Although I love the Fall, and CAN'T wait for it this year- this has been a very fun Summer for us and I feel very blessed.

We had a good weekend I guess. I had an Infant shoot on Saturday... don't worry, no Infants were harmed in the shooting of pictures! She was cute and tiny and pooped a lot and peed all over the floor, but I got some good shots. Those crazy little newborns! Who do they think they are? Poopin' and peein' everywhere. Anyway, after that when I got home it was about time to eat lunch, Ben and Daddy had already eaten lunch and Ben had ketchup ALL.OVER.HIS.FACE! Oh boy, he's a riot that kid. We cleaned him up and he was ready for a nap. His poor little eyes were red and droopy (but not from the ketchup). So he slept, and I rested and then after everyone got up we got ready to go and went dinner with the Terry's and then afterward went with them to the baby store to look for strollers, highchairs, cribs, etc. for their little soon-to-be little mamasita! Sunday we went to church and heard an interesting talk about U2 and the Joshua Tree album and how "The Streets Have No Name" were instrumental in this young man's decision to serve a mission for our Church. Hmmm, interesting to say the least. I was a little lost at the validity of it all, but to each his own I guess. Nothing much else to report for the weekend. We went to the Terry's for dinner. And other than that did nothing else.

Except for Ryan wants you to say "Irish Wrist Watch" three times. Try it. Try it when you're just waking up from a nap. That's funny!

We may be taking Ben to his first (out of womb) concert next week! We haven't decided 100% yet but we are thinking of taking him to the Jack Johnson concert. I think he'll like it. I hope... that would suck if he didn't. We'll see. Oh and speaking of Ben, apparently he has a "thing" for baseball right now. He talks about it CONSTANTLY so we decided to get him a little cute t-ball set. He loves it... and STILL talks about it constantly. Maybe we'll have a little sportsman on our hands? Neither of us are in to sports so I've got to figure out how to be a good sporty mom. Although, Ryan played t-ball and little leagues and was also on the swim team for years. I on the other hand played softball... well, okay, played is the operative word here. I basically sat the bench the whole season (with good reason, I sucked) and "played" at a scrimage game. Kinda sad huh? I feel a little pathetic admitting it. I think Ben will also be musical too- which is more of my kind of thing. He likes to play the Terry's piano and sing songs a lot. So we'll see.

Yesterday in the car on the way home he growled and Ryan said "Benny, are you a monster?" Ben replied with "No, Daddy... I'm Elmo"

I sure have been thinking about and missing my big sister. Not a day goes by I don't think of her. I keep having flashbacks to the day I found out and how horrible it was... but try to replace it with my good and fun memories of her. I sure hope she's having a ball, wherever she is!